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As Marni Feuerman notes in Psych Central, "Abusers can convince you that ... ") in a way that sounds less like criticism and more like they think you're "too good" for the decisions that you're currently making.
they are treating you this way to 'help' you."They may consistently critique your decisions at work ("Did you talk to your boss like that? How To Tell It Apart From Healthy Behavior: Though almost all partners occasionally criticize each other, when the criticism is constant and contains the implication that you're incapable of making good decisions on your own, that's a red flag.
There's a difference between "having secrets" and having an existence independent of your partner — and you don't have to give up the latter in order to be in a relationship.
How To Tell It Apart From Healthy Behavior: On occasion, serious couples who are recovering from an incident of infidelity will allow the cheated-on partner access to the other partner's texts and emails for a limited period of time as a form of accountability.
But if your partner actively encourages you to break away from your friends, that's unhealthy.
A controlling partner's criticism may not even sound like criticism — it might be couched in "supportive" language that implies that your partner is just trying to assist you. "), or your interests ("Why do you waste so much time doing crafts?
But if this is not a deal that you have specifically worked out with your partner in this context (and hopefully with the help of a counselor), it isn't right.
Many of us have been educated about the signs of a potentially abusive partner, and while escalation from control into outright abuse is something to be concerned about, the facts are that being in a controlling and manipulative relationship that never escalates into abuse can be hurtful and damaging, too.In most cases, it's all about control and taking away your independence." Being controlled or belittled by a partner can do lasting damage to our self-esteem, make us fearful about entering future relationships, and leave us with a wide variety of other emotional wounds that we shouldn't have to deal with.So while you may be more familiar with the most common signs of an abusive relationship, like a partner who forces you to dress in a certain way or forbids you from interacting with family or friends, there are other signs that your relationship is controlling, manipulative, or unhealthily obsessive.Maybe your social life revolves around a hobby, but your new partner thinks your hobby is "dumb" and makes fun of you for it until you give it up.This behavior can take many different forms, but it always has the same goal: straining or ending your relationships with the other people you're close to, until you feel that your partner is the only person you have in the world.
Rather than violently forbidding you from contacting your friends or family, a controlling partner may just gently nudge you away from them.